Kryptonite

It's hard to focus; rampant and blurring thoughts flow threw me.

I'm cutting my loses; I'm pained by what I let you do to me.

How do I uncoil the threads which have woven my perception;

of how I viewed our relationship and our cosmic connection?

Superman is what you were in how I viewed your character;

but just as false as a man that flies, so was our endeavors.

When you come around I am weak, vulnerable and confused;

kryptonite is what you are to me so I need to have you removed.

Reluctancy

Really.... has anyone figured it out? Why is it that people seem to get closer to the truth when they are inebriated, or close to it? Is it just me or do all the constraints of society levitate away from your aura and escape into the unknown when you stray away from the norm? 

Why do we follow? Why do we accept? Why don't we question the inept? ...Why are we lead? 

People really believe... in nothing.

Always on a personal level...

I am in love with someone that doesn't know me, has never seen me, or isn't in the know that I exist! How is that possible? It is a one way street, dare I say... love affair? No, obsession, compulsion, emptiness, void in my life, that I am trying to fulfill one way or the other.  I feel an eagerness about me, something trying to escape and explore all avenues possible. I want to believe, hear, see, feel... how... can... I ? My thoughts run a muck, my passion lacks luster, my presents goes unnoticed. I have the desire and the strength to go the distance... but what future do we have? How long is guaranteed... no one knows. I make it bleak because of the foundation that has been laid before me. I want more, to love... the right one forever, with all the fibers of existence, exclusively, unconditionally for eternity. 

First time

I am by no means a writer, I just want to share (and get off my chest) some of my private thoughts and feelings with the world. So let me start by saying:

I am on a journey of self discovery. I have been distracted from who I really am for quite sometime now. I have been cruising through my life on automatic pilot, watching the scenery change and feeling ambivalent about it all. I enveloped myself around a certain person and allowed them to consume my true being. I obsequiously followed them and took on their thoughts, feelings and emotions as my own. I thought that was what love and marriage was all about - I was wrong. Now, eight years and some children later, I wake up and realize I do not recognize who I am, what I stand for or how I truly feel about anything.   

So, I ask you (and myself), where do I began?